Next week I will be in Caronport taking my last class until September! Plus my birthday is on Sunday and I will be able to celebrate with friends! Last year I was depressed because no one remembered my birthday (except family) and spent it alone with Dallas. This year I will be with my wonderful friends in Moose Jaw! Nothing to extravagant - just dinner - but still! I am really looking forward to seeing my friends again! They are all wonderful people and wish we all lived closer together! :(
I cannot believe I will be 34 years old! Just not where I thought I would be at that age! I thought I would be married with kids and being a stay at home mom. Other than having Dallas in my life - none of that is where I am. I am a spinster! At 34! It is very depressing because I have to wonder if it will ever happen for me, and if it doesn't what is wrong with me? Why can I not have someone to love me? In my head I know there is nothing wrong with me, but there are times... I just wish with all my heart that I can meet someone soon - so that I won't be lonely anymore. It is hard to see a couple with kids have each other - to talk to about issues, and just have them to help around the home. To talk to, watch tv together, eat with, etc. It is very lonely being a single mom! I mean I love Dallas but it just isn't the same as another adult you know?
There are good things about being 34 - like this time next year (God willing) I will have graduated from seminary and have letters behind my name! {Lori A. Updike, M.A.} Looks awesome! I will finally be done! Although I like going to school - maybe I should take Mr. Glubish's advice and go on to do a PhD. NOT! I am not that smart. Could you imagine Dr. Lori Updike? NO! Seriously I may be smart - but not that brilliant. I couldn't imagine doing a thesis let alone a dissertation!
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2 comments:
Ok my dear I think you owe yourself an apology! Ya, you do! You are smart and what is the definition of brilliant anyway? What standard of "success" have you set up for yourself? I think Dr. Lori Updike sounds great...don't sell yourself short. Oh and do you think that Mr. Glubish talks out of his butt about stuff like that? He doesn't tell someone that he thinks they could do a PHD if he didn't think it was true. You need to believe in yourself...I do! So don't dismiss it out of hand. Ok?
Oh and by the way...
You're six months older than me!! Ha ha ha:)
I agree with everything Kendar said ... quit running yourself down already. As she said, he wouldn't be suggesting this path for you if he didn't think you were PhD material.
ps) Happy Birthday :)
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